love love love, what is love actually?

i bet every couple face love problems.
well, its a pitiful sight to see your friend cry and you can't do anything about it.
sigh, what is love actually? everyone wanted for a love story.
but why, why must everyone need to face problems when comes to love matters?
i dont understand why we can't love a simple and smooth way. is that a very tough request?
seeing her like this, my problem is a very tiny matter .. well, not that tiny though.
we girls just need one thing from love, that is trust.
trust is very important for every girls. keep that in mind.

well, we are still in a good way.
i can't let go of him anyway .. he begged too much.
so yeah, we are still the same.
he asked me not to think too much, i promised him i wont but then i still will think bout it sometimes.
seriously, i dont have confident at all.
parents, future .. those problems are just huge.
i try my best to appreciate every moment we got now
even in future we need to be separated,  we won't feel regret.

Ah, stop talking about sad stuff.
today went to lunch at Pizza Hut, to use off the rm5 voucher that got from Aiman's survey yesterday.
well, the atmosphere is indeed intense. with the couple and 3 of us..
well, thankfully the couple are back to normal again.
so my friend, save your tears :)
phew, nearly lost my bottle .. just bought it two days ago..
and if its really gone, my mum will let me had it for sure >.<
Luckily, my bottle stay nicely in Pizza Hut ...
hmm tomorrow is Wednesday.. means Pyramid lunch again! hahaha
wonder what we gonna eat ...... *wondering*
till then.

i should let you go

Today, i can't join pasta lunch with szerhui they all..
Need to go back early..
End up eat fried rice at home :/
Well, next time sure got chance one.
Always be optimistic people, it is very important.

Years by years passed..
Months by months passed..
Days by days passed...
All this time i never realize that im the problematic one.
I didn't appreciate your givings and sometimes keep 无理取闹..
I had made you tired and stress.
Funny, i don't realize this back then
You already had your dark past, and it strike you so badly.. especially mentally..
I don't want to be a tired and stress source for you.
I want to be a place where you can forget all your tiredness and stress.
Its so unfair for you.
You gone through so many hardships and dark obstacles, you see the real world faster than any of us.
You keep telling me that the world is not perfect and everything is unfair..
That is why..
Its so unfair for you to love a girl like me.
You should deserve a nice girl who dont have any family objection problem, protected child problem..
And of course.. a girl who loves you very much and cares for you.
Im not like other girls, i admit.
Im not the kind that will do those couples will usually do when they are together.
Maybe, im not used to this kind of couple thing. and im not used to what a couple must do.
Im just.. weird, i can say.
I admit that i have feelings towards you.. but i guess our love concepts are aint the same..
You will do those romantic things .. whereas im not.
I just want you to know my feelings towards you.. but i didnt show my love to you.
All this time, you're the one who keep giving .. and i give nothing.
All this time, you're the one who keep tolerating me .. but can you tolerate me forever?
It won't change anything by tolerating. Im still the same me, because you tolerate me too much.
All this time, it has clearly prove that im a burden to you.
It proven that i can't be the one that you can forget all the tiredness and stress..
That is why..
I should let you go.
Today morning you called me in college.. you asked me not to think anymore..
You want us to be like normal.. you begged me not to think others anymore and be at your side..
But..
Can we really be together?
I couldn't be the selfish one.
You realize how hard it is for us to be together and you work hard for it.. whereas im doing nothing.
You need to face my family problems, my big family problem .. i haven't tell you about this yet.
There are more obstacle that you didnt know that you need to face yet.
I know very well, that is why i can't let you face those anymore.. its tiring..
Maybe.. we are not the right one. i dont know.
Yesterday i think whole day..
If i let you go, i cant guarantee that i will find other guy like you..
You know me way too well. I scare that i can't find another guy like you.
I don't know what i will be
if we didnt chat with each other, didnt call or text each other and didnt receive your ohayo and oyasumi message..
I've been thinking that.. if we aren't the right one, why must we met and fall in love together?
We knew each other since Form 3.
I failed to maintain good grades in Form 2. So i ended up drop class and same class with you.
We only same class for 1 year. Just that 1 year, we sat beside each other.
But, we didnt realize that we got feelings towards each other.. since we always argued?
We even got caught talking in class and so the rumor began, but we always denied.
Form 4, we were in the different class. But you're in the same class with my best friends.
You friend with them and we also msn way too often. Then, we are close to each other again.
We even went to the same tuition. Even Cikgu Tan can see there's something between us.
Form 5, same old days. but.. end of the year you confessed to me and everything changed.
I .. can't even remember when was your confession. but yesterday you told me it was on 19th Nov 2010.
Not i don't want to remember but my brain just cant remember..
So many things happen between us....
I rejected you before..
But then after rejection, i miss you alot.
But this is a very selfish act right?
I don't feel anything when i got you, but when you left i feel so regret.
Then, i let you know my true feelings.
But then things keep blocking our path.
I keep giving you hope but then sometimes i crushed it.
I feel so sorry for you..
But,
If we aren't the right one, why we will have this kind of faith and coincidence?
I dont know whether this is a test from God anot..
I don't dare to think of it.
Im not the kind of person that can face challenge, i don't like challenge.
I just want everything to be smooth, but things just didn't go smooth like i wanted.
Im wondering that...
If we weren't in the same class with each other, there won't be today right?
If we weren't sat beside each other, we won't have feelings with each other right?
If that time i straight reject your confession, there won't be today right?
If i didn't accept you as my prom date, we won't be together till now right?
Really, so many memories we had together..
We gone through so so many things together..
And end up....
Im confused.
I dont know we should continue our relationship anot.
We haven't officially couple yet.
For you, i lied to my family.
I didnt tell them the truth of us.
But somehow, my parents know it and of course, they object due to certain reasons.
I heard you cried that day, and it was pitiful..
I feel like crying too, but tears just won't drop..
Maybe, my love for you is not as strong as yours..
I really don't know what i must do now.
I don't want you to suffer for me anymore..
Let the time proves it? No, the proving time will make you more suffer.
Im wondering..
Maybe.. i should let you go.. right?
Maybe.. i should obey my parents .. right?
Maybe.. i should lie to myself that i don't love you.. right?
Maybe.. i should be cruel once and tell you that i don't love you at all.. right?
But, will all the maybe(s) guarantee a better future for you and me?
I don't know. And i think i will never know.

凉面！ S O B A

Our pasta plan changed. Change to Friday.
Hahaha yeah, that was szerhui's boyfriend who requested.
Shocking, her boyfriend text me about the plan.
Hmm, i guess he used szerhui's handphone to search for my number :/
Anyways, i gotta agree because he kinda crave for pasta too much. lol.
So yeah, the pasta hunting falls on tomorrow! :D
Actually only got 4 of us going, but then today become 8 people. thats double!
Hahaha means we will get 2 free pastas. > w <
Hehehe can't wait for tomorrow to come! :D

Anyways, yesterday we 3 went to eat SAKAE SUSHI 

 Inari <3 

Love the sweetness of the tofu =)

 Inari! Again..

This one got abit different. Got fish egg and mayo =)

ZARU SOBA

This is known as 日本凉面.

First time eat cold noodle, and it taste GREAT! So refreshing, love it X)

When it comes to sushi, i will go Sushi King.
Means this is the first time i lunch at Sakae Sushi.
The environment was not bad, got computer to order food.
But talk about sushi varieties, Sushi King offers more varieties.
And if you notice the sushi plates in both restaurants, Sushi King's plates are more cute, lol.
But then, both sushi restaurants are great in taste. Love them both! :D

I cant be that selfish.

I must let you go right?

Hmm
Had sandwich for my lunch again =)
I can say that TUESDAY is the only day i can eat sandwich :)
Not that i can't eat sandwich other times, but i prefer to eat a meal than bread.
Anyways, the cafeteria's sandwich is very very nice, i love it =)
Today try a new flavour, TURKEY HAM CHEESE =D
Ah, too bad i didnt snap a pic of it. too hungry that time Hahaha
Anyways, i dont know whether is my 心理作用or what.
The sandwich tastes better than what my maid made for me. =X
The mayonnaise especially  :)
Damnn till now i dont even know how to prepare a sandwich. Fail me.
This is so sad. Till now, i only know how to cook instant noodle and bake cupcakes. Totally fail. =(
Anyways, i decided to at least learn to prepare some small things like sandwiches during holiday break.
Actually, I always wanted for holiday breaks. It is the only time that i can learn and make things.
Just like previous holiday break, i learned to make cupcakes and thankfully i succeed.
There's too many things i wanted to make:
chocolate chips muffins, sandwiches, vanilla cupcakes with icing etc
I even had the recipe for chocolate chip muffins already!
But, just like what mom said, baking is indeed fun. but we need to pay for the fun.
the ingredients needed are not that cheap. add on everything also need rm30+
Since the cupcakes making, i havent touch the flour and icing sugar yet.
And my next break is on July.. which is quite long time to go.
Is not that i can't make it during weekends.
Just that family will be around during that time. and of course, they will help most of the thing.
Is not that i dont like them to help.
but i want to make one complete thing with my own hands every single step. just try to understand me.

By the way, i can't wait for tomorrow!
Its not that i can't wait for classes tomorrow, hahaha
What i can't wait is ... FOOD! i know its =.=
Gonna lunch at my favourite pasta restaurant =DDD
seriously! their pasta and spaghetti and other food are so damn deli---cious!
damn, im hungry now hahaha
Suddenly think of cafeteria's Hot N Roll paratha wrap ... ...
Hahaha
Owh, i almost forgot that i need to study for undang test!
Hmm but saw the book i also dont really feel like reading it...
hey! the new issue of Reader's Digest is out!
Gonna read it now hehehe

pasta pasta pasta

im sure we can work this out

Its Monday again. The first day of the hectic week.
And Monday is the only day that we need to attend Malaysian Studies class.
Yesterday night, my pretty little blue printer ran out of black ink.
So, i cant print out my assignment and so i need to go to the library once i reach college to print.
It was not that smooth though, the big printer in the library was offline when i wanted to print.
How 'lucky' was that.
But then the assignment is due today, so me and celine went to the front desk and asked them to on the printer.
FORTUNATELY, the IT guy came in time.
Well, we did late for MS class though.. but the lecturer didnt seems to care =P
Anyways, today is the day to decide where to go for the MS trip.
So, the chosen one are either Malacca or Penang
I mean, its obvious that Malacca votes will lose. Our class is the type who love to travel.
So yeah, Penang it is, on 2nd and 3rd of July.
But then. 3rd of July is Qin's birthday!
So sorry for her, even Bou went to NS, so she gonna be alone for her birthday =(
Sigh.. i guess i have to celebrate early for her.

Afternoon me, aiman and bryan went to find miss priya to ask her some assignment thing
THANK GOD we no need to change the slides. YEAY! ;D
Then, me wanna find my microeconomics lecturer, but i got no luck.
i cant even find where her office at. even sow help me to find. but no luck too =(
Owh, speaking about microeconomics, me gonna rush the assignment already!
tomorrow is the due date! Ciao!

No matter what happens in future or what obstacles we need to face,

I still will trust you, and i am sure, together, we will work this matter out.

Undang or Udang?

Last Saturday, 21st May
Me and him went to undang course for 5 hours
FINALLY . even the 16 years old boy and girl already attended the course. tsk tsk
Went register at 8am *damn early*  then off to the institute around 8.30am
Went there register at counter again and did all the procedures
He wore non-collar shirt that day. and well he quite pissed
cause the instructor didnt tell him that guys must wear collar shirt for the course.
hmmm but then the instructor gave him a collar shirt. wait. where do the shirt comes from?
Anyways, the course is indeed fun boring
The speaker ... hmmm what can i say? The first speaker is not-that-good.
his voice was too soft and his voice tone is flat and dull.
the second speaker was OK. at least her voice is louder and clearer than the first one.
Lunch! My lunch is awesome, LOL not awesome actually X)
I had buffet for lunch! How good is that? Hahaha fool you, is the low-class buffet.
Anyways, i noticed im the only chinese who ate lunch that day.
Actually, the food is not bad lah, seriously. im not that picky type though.
hahaha but my friends bet me i wont touch their food. As a prove for them, i took a picture :)

MY LUNCH!

Not a nice sight to see but it tastes good lah

Just that the sausage got abit out of shape

 After the 5 hours course, seriously, i learned a little only.

means that i need to revise at home myself before taking the computer test.

The problem is, when will i finish reading that book? hmm no idea.

but i plan to take the test in the month of June :)

Then July i can start to learn to drive! Yeay! ;D

Sweet

Today is May 20.

5月20日

Chinese always say 520 is 我爱你

But i dont know why also hahaha

Anyways,

just now 1.14pm, he text me :)

And aww the message is so sweet =)

I copy what he said here X)

" Right now is juz rite 20th may 13 afternoon 14 minutes.. 5/20 13.14.. and it means wo ai ni yi shen yi shi ..."

Hahaha he just love to use short form.

Complete opposite with me XD

Hahaha the message still got more one..

But i just leave it for myself =X

He is just so different from me.

He will think of doing something like this.

But i never think of that.

I mean.. 

May 20 is like normal day to me and why will i think of 520 is a special day?

LOL 

Anyways,

Feel touched, even though at first quite blur + confused + shocked

Hahaha

Well, we got so many memories together and he is the special one from others.

My heart tells me so.

He even gave me a big promise

And he said he will do that no matter what

I know i must gain trust in him and wish him for every success.

Hahaha i should end here :) See ya!

i like you a lot =)

yum yum yum

i decided to blog often now :)

sigh.. pohyee went to NS already.. and yeap. we did her a farewell :), a memorable one =)
just hope that you will enjoy the whole camp yea :)

yesterday went college to do discussion ( even though it was sem break )
but im glad that i got all the cooperative teammates :) so we done our assignment successfully :D
went to The Manhattan Fish Market for lunch :DD

 Soup of the Day! 

It is very nice as T.G.I.F clam chowder :)

 Tropical Breeze!

Sour and sweet drink, not bad

 The Main Course - Fish N Chips!

Looks like salmon fish? Hahaha it was my camera got some color error i guess?

But the portion is too big for me, damn full.

The Fried Mushroom!

OHMYGOSH. I LOVE this one more than the main course. The sauce is simply amazing!

today suppose to go register for the driving course.

but then, we went too early.. so yeah the shop closed.

but never mind, went McD for second breakfast Hahaha.

I got a F.O.C. Hotcake Breakfast set :D Thanks to someone :)

The Delicious Hotcake!

First time had it, and it tastes great. :D

Hmm i need to improve my decoration in pancake or hotcake next time :)

Oh well, so i need to wait till Saturday to start my course :)

Argh, i still have 1 assignment left and homeworks.

See ya!